Big white taxi

Something that Paramedics diary wrote here reminded me of a story from one night a few years ago. A young man from one of the outlying towns had been on a night out in another town about 10 miles from home. Had a good night and had spent all his money. Did not fancy a walk home at 2:00 am. So, as his home town had a small hospital with an Accident & Emergency department the bold boy thought it would be a good idea to dial 999 and tell the emergency operator he had taken an overdose. This way he would be taken to his local hospital and could then discharge himself against medical advice - apparently he had heard of it being done and was supposed to be good way of getting home. Unfortunately, what he did not know was that his local A&E department had been downgraded to a minor injury unit and he was brought to us, 16 miles from home. Give the lad his due, he was really giving an Oscar winning performance as what he thought an overdose should look like for the ambulance crew (who were not fooled in the slightest). Kind of spoiled it a bit when he leaped off the trolley when he arrived with us and said he was going home and had only called the ambulance so he could get a lift home. We asked him to sign the DAMA form, which he did, and off he went. Back in 2 minutes asking where he was, when informed that he was in our fair city he demanded that he be taken to his local hospital. It was pointed out that his local hospital could not deal with his presenting problem so he had to be brought to us. Next question was how was he to get home? I'm afraid we laughed a bit and said it was his problem and he now had further to go than when he made the call. He was given the phone and had to call someone to come and get him. I think one of his parents came but he did not let them come and talk to us and I think he told them he had fallen and hurt himself rather than that he was a selfish twat who abused the 999 service.