Mobility

If you want to have your patient mobilised just ask, it is one of the things I do, I'm good at it. I can assess a patients mobility as well as a physio and tell you if they are safe to go home or not, or if they need a formal physio referral. But, I have to be able to trust you and know that you have assessed the patient properly. If the patient came in with a possibility of a hip injury I need to know that you have excluded a fracture so that I can mobilise her safely. So when you tell me she has had her analgesia a while ago and we should try her on her feet I expect her to be able to make a bit of an effort. When she struggled and was unable to move even with 2 of us I let you know that her mobility is poor and she is a danger to herself and anyone trying to help. The last thing I expect to hear from you is "OK, lets get her hip X-Rayed!" WHAT? That should have been done before I went near her. She has been in the department long enough to have been X-Rayed and it makes me look incompetent and negligent to attempt to mobilise a patient who may have a fractured hip, as well as the fact that when she was being 'mobilised' she hurt me with her pulling and gripping. So now I have had to take analgesia and avoid patients for a bit because you did not do your job.

Find this person

OK,who is it? Someone is wandering round our town spiking drinks for no apparent gain. The people who claim their drink has been spiked are with friends, they are in safe places, they don't have anyone trying to molest them, so who is spiking their drink and for what reason? Some of them even turn up with their mums the next day, vomiting and headachey stating that their drink was spiked last night - despite the fact that they got home safely. So who is it?

While I'm on the subject, there also seems to be someone going around starting fights for no reason. The poor victims were standing minding their own business and some guy came up and hit them for nothing. I know this can happen but not to everyone.

We have decided that it is the same person. He or she is getting some kind of sick perverse pleasure from upsetting all these fine upstanding peaceful sober people who then have to attend A&E in the middle of the night.

So your task is to find this person and stop them because they are really ruining a lot of people's nights out.

Advice

I don't mind that you phoned the department for advice, honest. I am busy, and you are bothering me because I have lots and lots of things that need to be done but I will give you advice because that is part of my job and I am trained and experienced enough to give you good advice. All I ask in return is that you listen to what I say and act upon it. So, when you tell me your colleague who is in his 50's has crushing central chest pain going into his left arm and he is grey and I tell you to put the phone down and dial 999 for an emergency ambulance I mean PUT THE BLOODY PHONE DOWN AND CALL AN AMBULANCE! NOW! Don't question the wisdom of what I am saying, don't ask am I sure, just PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND CALL AN AMBULANCE!