A moan, a kind word, a rant, anything and everything about the British public, good and bad, who use the NHS from a grumpy old male nurse. And a word or two about some of the morons who seem to inhabit my world.
I see Fabrice Muamba has decided to retire from football after his cardiac arrest earlier this year. I wish him well in the future and hope he can go on to have a long and happy life. Unfortunately he is still thanking god for saving him "I thank God that I am alive" although in fairness he is also thanking the team who saved him, "I thank God that I am alive and I pay tribute once again to the members of the medical team who never gave up on me." So he is thanking god for saving him but I don't see anywhere that he is thanking god for giving him his arrest in the first place. The ability of the religious mind to fail to make any connections to reality never fails to amaze me. So we have to assume that it was a devil or some bad fairy that caused the initial collapse.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/768654?src=nldne Here we go again. Swine flu making a come back? Difference this year it has started off further North so has less distance to go before it becomes international.
Did anyone keep any of the anti virals from last time? All ours went out of date.
Now, where did I put my mask?
Yes, I know you have to pick up 3, or was it 4 children in 10 minutes. I know that you need to be 'somewhere' in an hour. I know that you are meeting your long lost pen pal from Outer Mongolia and the only time you can meet is in the next half hour. I know that you have had nothing to eat for 4 hours - guess what, it is now 5:00 o'clock and I haven't managed to have a toilet break since 10:00 o'clock. Do you have any other sob story that you think will get you seen faster than the people in the waiting room who have been waiting for 2 hours now? Go for it, I have heard them all. Don't try emotional blackmail, stories of cancer and heart problems while tragic and upsetting have nothing to do with your sprained ankle. Telling me you think you 'might' have a seizure is always fun - can you pseudo-seize better than I can diagnose it? Bear in mind I have years of experience of pseudo-seizures. All I will do is embarrass you in front of the waiting room - yes I am a cruel and heartless b*st*rd but I have a very low BS threshold.
Before you think I have a heart of stone, I do have some weak spots - if you are getting married, I will try to get you seen quicker (I'm a grumpy old romantic), also if you are graduating or sitting exams I see these as genuine reasons to jump the queue. Even if you are a tourist and need to catch transport to continue your holiday I will try to accomodate that. But seriously, when you are unemployed telling me that 1 hour is too long to wait is laughable - where else do you have to be?
Wandering around shouting loudly that "It's as well you're not dying" just makes you look a dick as the whole point is that if you are dying or ill or if you are genuinely exanguinating in front of me you will already be on a trolley with us doing our thing to try to stop you.
You can always tell someone who has been in or at a hospital before, they are the ones with the books or kindles or ipads who sit quietly waiting for their turn.
It has been a long time since I posted but this has annoyed me, although when dealing with religion I should be used to stupidity by now. This has really pissed me off. God has protected him and saved his life. Really? I thought it was prompt, effective CPR followed by good ICU/CCU care. Did god put the "zapper" in his chest? No, it was a skilled cardiologist. Did god guide the cardiologists hands? No it was years and years of study and experience.
I'm sure some religious nut will tell met that god put all those people there just for the purpose of saving Muamba. If so why, if he is so special, did he go to the bother of trying to kill him in the first place. I know god is supposed to 'move in a mysterious manner, his wonders to perform' but this is not just mysterious it is completely opaque.
The comments are even more entertaining, apparantly Muamba is a special person. No, he is an overpaid footballer, that is it. He is no better or worse than anyone else.
I wish him well and a full speedy recovery, but to give god the credit for saving him is just nonsense.
I have twice tried to comment on the Sun's page after the article but surprise, surprise they won't publish what I write. Seems if you cannot say that god or some superior force saved Muamba you are not going to get published.
I am going to say it again; SCIENCE SAVED MUAMBA. His fitness levels, fast effective CPR and the skills, knowledge and experience of the medical team are what has allowed him to be speaking to newspapers today. God does not exist and to allow some imaginary being to be given the credit for this is niave, childish and shows a gross lack of understanding of the world as it is.
As a parent it is not OK for you to tell me that your child has a high pain threshold and that's why you did not give them analgesia for their fractured ankle/wrist. It is equally not OK to refuse my offer of analgesia for said child while under my care because they are "tough". This is bordering on child abuse.
As an adult you should not tell me in triage that you have (insert major surgical emergency here) that you have severe pain while a) smiling and joking with me, b) have normal vital signs and c) look and sound in normal health. Oh, and asking me to carry your bag that you have carried from the main door of the hospital because "you just can't manage" is just pathetic.
What the hell goes on in an NHS managers mind? First they tell us that jobs in Scotland will be cut including Nursing jobs and now NHSGrampian have come up with this little scheme. What makes them think that nurses will work a full shift for nothing? We already work extra (unpaid) hours to make sure that everything is complete before we go off shift and I very rarely see anyone getting their time back. So now they decide to make us work another 12 hours unpaid. Never mind that this involves transport costs, childminding costs and any other costs that are involved in going to work. They then play the guilt card, "if you don't do this then nurses will lose their jobs" - you have already told us that nurses are going to lose their jobs anyway you dipshits. And of course, how many nurses get a break or a full lunch time? How many managers get a full lunchtime? I wonder though........? Perhaps this is a sneaky way to reduce the pension deficit in the NHS. It is well known that long shifts and no breaks are bad for your health so perhaps they are trying to kill us all off so they don't have to pay us a pension. As Nurse Anne over at Militant Medical Nurse would no doubt say - Bastards!!
I understand that my wife is a bit wary of wasps and bees etc. it's a girly thing and getting rid of them is one of a husbands duties that are taken for granted. Why though does my dog tremble and run out of the room when anything that buzzes flies around? However, what I really, really need answered is why my 30 year old 6 foot 3 inch son runs like a little girl when a wasp or bee enters the kitchen?
This is possibly one of the reasons I have no grandchildren yet!
A rant this morning, I saw this story on the news last night and immediately started shouting and throwing things at the screen. This man hurt his knee 15 years ago and has not worked since and because he has now won £11 million he will be able to afford to get his knee fixed. This man is a lazy, selfish swine, he could have had an operation on his knee any time from the NHS. He states he is unable to work but can drive a car - if you can drive a car you can work, people in wheelchairs manage to work, people with no legs manage to work. No, this man hurt his knee and decided that he enjoyed sponging off the state and took our money. Sometime over the past 15 years a job that he could do must have come up. So good luck to you Peter Redkin for winning the money, but at least now you will be one less drain on society.
I have just had a trawl through the internet and I must be wrong about this - the comments after the Daily Mail story about him agree with me. Now that is a worry.
I am a middle aged Nurse Practitioner who has worked in the NHS for over a quarter of a century. If you think you recognise anyone in the posts - you dont, no, really, you dont. All names have been changed to protect the guilty as God is expected to take care of the innocent as a matter of course. I have no wish to be sacked for breaking patient confidentiality. Any opinions expressed here are completely my own and bear no resemblance to NHS policy or procedures and in some cases they will bear no resemblance to sanity.