Had a young man in the other night with a minor laceration to his hand. Wound was closed and dressed but while he was alone in the cubicle I heard the cupboard door opening. Went in and had a look and there is the lad with a pocketful of tape and alcowipes. We asked him what he thought he was doing and got the usual answer - "nothing". We took the tape and alcowipes from him, he did not even know what the alcowipes were, never mind what they were for. Asked why he had taken them he did not know, they were there so they were his. Now I hate thieves, I really, really hate thieves. I sometimes think that there is a place for cutting off hands, but let's not get into that just now. I had a look in the cupboard and noticed that the needle stock seemed a bit low so I asked him to put the needles back. He of course denied he had taken needles. gave him one more chance - "put the needles back or I call the police". No, he did not take the needles. OK, police were called. To give the chap his due, he did not run off as I expected but hung around the department demanding that I search him - no way was I going near him.
Police arrived and had a word with him and his girlfriend, did a quick search and of course nothing was found. I was called to reception to have a word with the policeman where he informed me of the outcome but then said that the toe-rag was accusing me of assaulting him and his girlfriend was backing up his story. I was horrified, and tried to explain that the last time I hit anyone was 1969 when I was 14 and at school, where just occasionally you do have to hit people. Policeman was all apologetic but said I would have to make a statement and come down to the police station. I can't go anywhere, I'm in charge of this department we are short staffed as it is. then I remembered, we have cameras, surely that would show that I was no where near him. At this point the policeman, my colleague and the reception staff who were listening to this all burst into laughter. B*st**ds!! They were winding me up, the policeman blamed my colleague and said that he had been asked to do it by him and had quite happily gone along with the gag. Must have been a slow night. Not much I can do to the policeman but at least it proves that they do have sense of humour, but my colleague however will suffer, as soon as I can find a suitably dirty job for him to do.