Fat lazy male nurse has a piece on his blog about the things people say when they come to unscheduled care here. I thought I would throw in a story. A "gentleman" whom I knew from school days appeared and complained about his ankle that had been sore for 3 months. When I tried to find out exactly what was wrong with his ankle he insisted that I look at the other one first - the non sore one. I could not get him to understand that, a) I know what an ankle looks like, b) I was totaly unintersted in seeing either of his ankles and c) that he should not be in an A&E department in the first place.
I managed to stop him taking off his sock and shoe and told him he would be seen but was a low priority and recieved an earfull of abuse for my trouble. Upshot was one punter told politely to piss off and if he did not modify his behaviour he would be spending the night in the local jail.